Nice people!

It’s funny how large of a role people play in happiness. Things and places really don't have much to do with how much joy we have. Without love and kindness from others, we would be pretty miserable people! I love how when someone does something nice for you, it’s like an instant bond that creates a desire to do something nice back, or for someone else. This world would be an amazing place if we could just start a giant chain reaction of niceness. Every time my neighbor brings over a cute miniature cup of tea or a sample of some foreign looking curry, it gives me a happiness boost. Whenever our neighbor Ramana comes to the screen door and says “Sidney, Brooke, come” with no further explanation (except that we know he wants to chat with us in very broken English and serve us some tea or food) it makes me laugh. These are the moments that I have to cherish and always remember. I know that I will because when I think back to an experience where I traveled far from home, I can only think of the good parts! Even the parts I know were frustrating at the time, somehow turn into good memories that I can laugh about. This is good.

People really do make the situation. I need to remember that when people frustrate me, I’m the one who has to change my attitude. I can pray all I want for God to change someone else, but it’s really me to needs to do the changing. By adjusting my own attitude, I can change the way another person makes me feel. When I become a person who is generous and thinks of others first, it will make life happier.

This verse is my motivation – “Don’t be selfish; don’t try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves. Don’t look out for only our own interests, but take an interest in others too. You must have the same attitude that Christ Jesus had.” Philippians 2:3-5

Today I will be thankful for people. When I am talking to them, listening to them, watching them, or even complaining to myself about them, they play the largest role in the amount of joy I have. So I’m thankful for them. It's impossible to not get a little joy from watching my cute friend Din Chin sharing her orange umbrella. Or from a wild swarm of boys shoving sparklers in one of my hands while pulling me by the other to watch them light a new fire cracker... (Diwali festival is a whole new story). The teachers, the kids, my roommates, and even the villagers who stare, unashamed and unblinking, at my white skin and hair.  They are creating this experience for me that I will always remember. Most of all, I’m thankful for the new friends I’ve made who have shown me pure kindness and generosity and for those who have encouraged me from far away, helping my heart to feel a little more full than it has been. 

On my own

While the idea to share a blog is great, I decided I still want to post some of my own stuff for my own people too...just because I feel like it's more personal and I can be a little more honest. 


Speaking of honesty, I am terribly homesick. When I left, I never thought I would be the type to get so homesick that I would seriously think about buying a plane ticket home. My roommates express daily that even though the way administration treats us here is frustrating, they are still happy to be here in India. But for me, I feel totally opposite. I am not happy to be in India and I think about getting home almost nonstop. It turns me into a downer and I hate it! It not only makes me miserable about my situation, but it makes it hard for me to get along with the people around me too. All I can think about is how badly I want April to come. I didn't want to be one of those SM's, but here I am, and it's happening to me. And the more homesick I feel, the more I feel like being alone to sulk in my misery. The more time I spend alone, the more depressed and sorry for myself I become.


I think writing this out is going to help me. When I read that paragraph I realize that I need to make the choice to be happy. If I don't, the rest of my time here is going to be miserable. When I am with my classes or with Chandu and Ramana, our neighbors, I am much happier. It is so hard for me to pretend I am happy and just around the corner from America with my computer and skype, hanging out with two friends in our apartment, when I know that I am months away from seeing anyone else and far too many miles away from home. Just like I always have, I hide my feelings and keep them all locked up inside for only me to mull over in every spare thought. I need to face reality that I am here in India to help kids learn some English and follow their rules, not to do things my way. I know that this experience is supposed to make me grow and become a stronger person but I am having a hard time seeing how this will happen or how I could change. I want to grow into a better person, I just have to figure out where to start. I have to wake up everyday and tell myself to be happy and to be understanding. I want God to work in me and for our relationship to grow but it's hard to open my heart to him when misery and selfishness is pushing the door closed. I am determined to make this happen. Having devotions every morning is not enough, I need more than that and so I am praying that God will help me to discover the secret that I haven't yet figured out. Once I do this, I am hoping I can find a little bit more happiness to fill my heart here in India. 

My goal: have a smile like this guy in the very near future...