HAPPY BIRTHDAY BRKS MOTHER!

Quick story! Yesterday morning I sat on the computer waiting desperately for Bruce Christenson to skype me for my mom’s surprise 50^th birthday party so that I could say hello to her and everyone there. It was morning for me, and Saturday evening for them. The power goes out during the day here, but there’s never any telling what time it will go off in the morning. Unfortunately the power went out only a few minutes before my mom arrived and I couldn’t talk to them, so I was a little bummed! But I moved on.

We usually eat dinner at our little adopted family’s house, Vara and Prim and baby Nancy, here on campus every night, but today we were invited to our friends Raju and Vani’s house (the family with the baby boy named by Kati W. and Hillary M) for dinner on their wedding anniversary day. But Vara and Prim told us to come over after we were done because they had a surprise! After we were stuffed full of chapatti and rice and all the other 10 courses of food they feed us, we rolled ourselves into an auto rickshaw and arrived back at school safely. We sat and watched as Prim tried to wake baby Nancy up from her complete dead sleep, she made the cutest faces as her limbs flopped around like noodles, and then Vara comes in and says, “so we have this cake to eat! It’s the birthday of the friend of my friend…. So we need you to eat it.” He then opens this box and shows us a cake that says ‘HAPPY BIRTHDAY BRKS MOTHER!’ 

I was so surprised and thrilled! We celebrated my mom's birthday because I am family, and so she is family too of course! I fed each person a bite of cake from my hand in tradition (for my mama) and then everyone else fed each other, this part reminds me of a wedding hehe. It was fun. They even had one of the awesome exploding candles that are famous for birthdays here. These candles are great because they sing happy birthday until the battery runs out (unless you break them). ;) How can a family with a 2 year old little girl, who have so little, be so caring and generous? I am learning so much from these people, and becoming too attached! They are truly amazing. 

Nancy feeding her Nana!

Happy Birthday mom from your Indian family!

Psychological motivation!

I need one for my wall...

Involvement and Inconvenience

Is it awful to absolutely dread teaching a class of fourth graders that is only 40 minutes long but feels like 2 hours? I really wish I could enjoy it, but when the kids can’t keep their mouths shut for literally more than 30 seconds, I get so frustrated!!! It turns me into that mean teacher who is always in a bad mood and gives you lectures about how hard life is going to be for you later if you can’t be quiet or listen to what your teacher has to say for more than a minute. I don’t want to be the mean teacher, I want to be the fun sister from Walla Walla University that “came and taught us English and played with us.” But I find myself dreading class more and more and being that grouchy teacher who doesn't let you do anything fun. I don’t feel like they are learning anything because they can’t focus and they don’t follow along in their books. Most of them just stare at me and like I’m from some other planet, waiting for me to tell them they can go outside and play games or teach them a song. Maybe it’s good for me to see how hard it is to teach someone who doesn’t want to learn. I promise I’ll be an information thirsty student when I come home!! Sorry for the rant, but I had to get that off my chest.

“The good Samaritan defined the meaning of love. Love doesn’t look away. And it doesn’t walk away. It involves itself. It inconveniences itself. It indebts itself.” 

So I read a devotion from a super good book called 'Moments with the Savior' by Ken Gire this morning. It was titled “An Instructive Moment about Love” that told the story of the good Samaritan in a much more detailed way that gave me a pretty straight forward reminder of something I tend to forget. Love involves itself. Love inconveniences itself. I was complaining to myself about teaching, and then I read this and remembered that I’m not here to do what I want exactly and I shouldn't feel like I deserve to teach the older students who are much easier to handle. I am going to be inconvenienced if I am going to do anything effective. And if I want to show these kids anything, or teach them anything, I have to love them.  It may feel like I am not doing anything worthwhile during those agonizing 40 minutes that I try to keep them quiet while we get through one short story, but that’s what I have to do! I have to involve myself and inconvenience myself and have patience, not just walk away feeling flustered. I am telling myself that as long as at least one kid learns something (and I can think of that one, I even can picture where he sits, because he’s the only one who calls out any answers ha!), the time I spent, however frustrating, was beneficial. I just have to let it go. The kids who are going to learn, will learn. 

Outside of the classroom it’s good to remember that love inconvenience’s itself too. Sometimes I forget this and I only do nice things that I feel like doing for other people at the time, not the things that might take a little extra work or generosity. Or I complain about my situation, that I am paying for things that I shouldn't have to because I'm a "rich American" or I'm having my business poked into by someone who I don't feel deserves to know where I am every single evening at dinner time. I have to remember, I came here and stepped into a different world and here things are done differently. I am taken care of beyond what I could hope for. Some inconvenience can certainly be dealt with, especially when I am sharing the love I want to share! I think I’ll write this on a sticky note and put it under my bunk so I see it whenever I wake up. Love inconveniences itself!!! And I won't forget it. 

Love is the secret ingredient

Some things I don't want to forget about this place:

• Five small boys from the village across the road, running down a dirt path barefoot to get in front of us where they wait until we pass and then yell "GAS! GAS! GAS!!!" trying to tell us to run (because we usually do, but today we happened to just be walking). Gas makes the cars go, same idea! 
• Being told that a certain food is for "body cooling" and the remedy for an upset stomach is to rub some oil on it!
• Little two year old Nancy calling me 'acca' (elder sister).
• Our brother Ramana telling us about his native place, how it is SUPER and coconuts are free!
• Hearing one of the 8th class boys, Ranjith, scream at the top of his lungs like a girl when I goal kick a soccer ball haha!

Last night I made banana bread with our dying, mushy bananas...my moms recipe...and I even put in a few of the chocolate chips she sent me. The only ingredient I substituted was the water buffalo milk instead of sour cream (usually I try not to think about it when I see those water buffaloes tromping down the road, pooping everywhere. Cows are just as gross). I also didn't have vanilla, who needs vanilla anyway? I thought my bread was a gonner when the outside kept getting darker and darker and the inside was still gooey as ever. Finally I gave up, not wanting to have to chop through a rock hard crust, and took it out, admitting defeat to that silly round oven. But what do you know, after it sat in the pan and cooled, the inside magically got done (mostly done, still soft and delicious!). And the outside wasn't even crispy! It was a really great surprise. Must have been the water buffalo milk. 

I just finished reading the book Blue Like Jazz by Donald Miller and he talks a lot about how our human nature is selfish and our goal as Christians should be to love others. He also talks about our social lives and how our souls need to interact with other people in order to be healthy. Otherwise it’s like setting your soul down on a couch and not exercising it. Sometimes when I am introvert Brooke, I go into a security bubble and don’t like to spend a lot of time socializing with a lot of people. This can be recharging, but it also can go on for too long and then I just get miserable! It’s good to be reminded to exercise my soul. We need that, to talk and share with each other, meet new people, step out on a limb or else we won’t learn anything new about life or people or the way things work. If I didn’t have people to interact with here, I wouldn’t be able to learn how to get along with them either. So I guess today I can be thankful for interaction, because this will probably help me in some future situation where roommates are involved.. ha! I can be thankful for the bad interactions and the good ones. When I go next door to Chandu and Ramana’s to socialize while they sit on the floor eating their rice and dal, it feels so much like a family and I love it! Even when our brother Ramana tries to over feed me, teasing me every time I see him about how he has to take care of his sister so her boyfriend will be happy, it makes me laugh and I think that’s pretty good soul exercise! Every spirituality book I’ve read lately somehow always comes back to love. If we could be less selfish and love each other, so many of life’s issues would no longer exist. If we don’t interact with people, we can’t exactly learn to love them. So step one, interact. Step two, be less selfish. Step, three, love people… and as a result, people are going to love you back! It’s like a giant loving circle that makes a perfectly happy ending. I wish it were always easy to love every one, but I guess that’s where the learning comes in and the more you try, the easier it will get!

Caught me!!

Thankfulness = Joy!

Today I will be thankful. I have many things I can be thankful for and it would be wrong of me to just ignore them and pretend they aren’t there. I decided I need to try and express something I am thankful for every time I write! Some good advice from someone who I really look up to helped me remember that thankfulness brings joy.

The past week has been pretty full of good things. Last week, when I was at my lowest, it just happened to be Diwali, the Hindu holiday known as the Festival of Lights, where they set off tons of fire crackers and all of India lights up at night! This definitely boosted my spirits. We didn’t have school that day since many of the kids here are Hindu. This seems strange that they would be at an Adventist school, but they believe in our God too, they just add him to the list of their gods. We ended up going into Vempalli and seeing our new good friends who gave us a meal and let us watch their neighbors set off fire crackers in the drizzling rain that wouldn’t let up. Some of those fire crackers are unbelievably loud, like a bomb going off in the room next to you. When we returned to the school, we only got to our room for a second before we heard more fire crackers going off and boys yelling. We headed over to the boys hostel to see what the commotion was and found a couple hundred boys outside lighting every type of fire cracker you can think of in all directions, and jumping on or dancing under the sparks!  I thought boys in America would go a little crazy with fireworks, but they are nothing compared to these guys! I’ve never seen so many little boys with matchboxes and fireworks in hand ready to show us more. I had sparklers shoved into one hand while another boy drug me around by the other hand to show me different fire crackers being set off, all within a small distance of each other. This experience felt so good! We bonded with the boys and let loose a little bit and instead of just being their white English teachers, we were their buddies. 

This weekend, three sponsors from America came to visit the school. They sponsor a number of kids here and were part of the originally building and start up of this school so they usually come back every year and visit for at least a little while. One of the sponsors, Sue, was like a mom to us this weekend! She made a point to get to know us a little and shared some useful information about surviving in India. It was so nice to have her here for the weekend. On Sunday we went to Kadapa to buy some food and such to get us through the next couple months and we were treated to the Cuddapah Café for lunch. This place was a blessing in itself ha! The food was so good, the closest thing to western food I’ve had since we’ve been here. They even had pizza and a veggie burger (both with an Indian twist of course). We even got to finish off the meal with some ice cream… We felt so spoiled. All I know is that I will be so grateful for all the conveniences I have at home. Such as a place like Walmart that has everything in one store. You can make one trip through the place and have everything you need in 10 or 15 minutes! Although it can be fun to look at each shop that specializes in only one item, it does mean you have to plan on a couple hours to find everything you need. Having Sue here as our "mama" definitely gave me some comfort that I've missed! 

You know what is funny? I’ve never been that in to pumpkin carving at home, I usually don’t have much artistic talent or the patience to get through it. But carving a pumpkin in India (or at least we think they are a close relative to the pumpkin…) was pretty refreshing!  The vegetable we found is kind of ugly and green and looks like it could be a very unripe pumpkin, but supposedly it doesn’t ever turn orange here either, so who knows. It was fun and everyone loved to stop and check out at our three pumpkins that stood out on our balcony railing with candles glowing inside. Honestly it looked like we carved some watermelons ha!

I think God has been doing a lot to fill my time and energy with things that make this place more than just a hard location to live far away from home. We’ve had some spice added to our lives in the last week and he knows I need it!

The Bible has always been kind of a big, ominous mystery book to me, but I happened to stumble into James once, and the first chapter really hits home. I have tried to use it as a counselor at MiVoden, especially because a lot of my girls come from broken families. The very first chapter talks about faith and endurance and how our troubles are opportunities for great joy and when our faith is tested, our endurance has a chance to grow. It’s funny to look back at now, because when I read this chapter for the first time, I didn’t really feel like my endurance was growing at all in my troubles, but I used it anyway to try and encourage the girls in my cabin. Now that I look back, I think the act of sharing was part of my growing endurance even though it felt strange and maybe a little fake on my part at first. The more I shared, the easier it was to explain what I believe and it made me feel like I had a little more understanding in my own heart for the hard things that have happened.

And now I’m here in India! Sometimes I feel very lonely, but I keep telling myself, troubles are a chance for faith and endurance to grow, and that is one of the reasons I am here. So I have to be thankful for those times, because they are shaping me into who I am and being thankful makes you happy!

Nice people!

It’s funny how large of a role people play in happiness. Things and places really don't have much to do with how much joy we have. Without love and kindness from others, we would be pretty miserable people! I love how when someone does something nice for you, it’s like an instant bond that creates a desire to do something nice back, or for someone else. This world would be an amazing place if we could just start a giant chain reaction of niceness. Every time my neighbor brings over a cute miniature cup of tea or a sample of some foreign looking curry, it gives me a happiness boost. Whenever our neighbor Ramana comes to the screen door and says “Sidney, Brooke, come” with no further explanation (except that we know he wants to chat with us in very broken English and serve us some tea or food) it makes me laugh. These are the moments that I have to cherish and always remember. I know that I will because when I think back to an experience where I traveled far from home, I can only think of the good parts! Even the parts I know were frustrating at the time, somehow turn into good memories that I can laugh about. This is good.

People really do make the situation. I need to remember that when people frustrate me, I’m the one who has to change my attitude. I can pray all I want for God to change someone else, but it’s really me to needs to do the changing. By adjusting my own attitude, I can change the way another person makes me feel. When I become a person who is generous and thinks of others first, it will make life happier.

This verse is my motivation – “Don’t be selfish; don’t try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves. Don’t look out for only our own interests, but take an interest in others too. You must have the same attitude that Christ Jesus had.” Philippians 2:3-5

Today I will be thankful for people. When I am talking to them, listening to them, watching them, or even complaining to myself about them, they play the largest role in the amount of joy I have. So I’m thankful for them. It's impossible to not get a little joy from watching my cute friend Din Chin sharing her orange umbrella. Or from a wild swarm of boys shoving sparklers in one of my hands while pulling me by the other to watch them light a new fire cracker... (Diwali festival is a whole new story). The teachers, the kids, my roommates, and even the villagers who stare, unashamed and unblinking, at my white skin and hair.  They are creating this experience for me that I will always remember. Most of all, I’m thankful for the new friends I’ve made who have shown me pure kindness and generosity and for those who have encouraged me from far away, helping my heart to feel a little more full than it has been. 

On my own

While the idea to share a blog is great, I decided I still want to post some of my own stuff for my own people too...just because I feel like it's more personal and I can be a little more honest. 


Speaking of honesty, I am terribly homesick. When I left, I never thought I would be the type to get so homesick that I would seriously think about buying a plane ticket home. My roommates express daily that even though the way administration treats us here is frustrating, they are still happy to be here in India. But for me, I feel totally opposite. I am not happy to be in India and I think about getting home almost nonstop. It turns me into a downer and I hate it! It not only makes me miserable about my situation, but it makes it hard for me to get along with the people around me too. All I can think about is how badly I want April to come. I didn't want to be one of those SM's, but here I am, and it's happening to me. And the more homesick I feel, the more I feel like being alone to sulk in my misery. The more time I spend alone, the more depressed and sorry for myself I become.


I think writing this out is going to help me. When I read that paragraph I realize that I need to make the choice to be happy. If I don't, the rest of my time here is going to be miserable. When I am with my classes or with Chandu and Ramana, our neighbors, I am much happier. It is so hard for me to pretend I am happy and just around the corner from America with my computer and skype, hanging out with two friends in our apartment, when I know that I am months away from seeing anyone else and far too many miles away from home. Just like I always have, I hide my feelings and keep them all locked up inside for only me to mull over in every spare thought. I need to face reality that I am here in India to help kids learn some English and follow their rules, not to do things my way. I know that this experience is supposed to make me grow and become a stronger person but I am having a hard time seeing how this will happen or how I could change. I want to grow into a better person, I just have to figure out where to start. I have to wake up everyday and tell myself to be happy and to be understanding. I want God to work in me and for our relationship to grow but it's hard to open my heart to him when misery and selfishness is pushing the door closed. I am determined to make this happen. Having devotions every morning is not enough, I need more than that and so I am praying that God will help me to discover the secret that I haven't yet figured out. Once I do this, I am hoping I can find a little bit more happiness to fill my heart here in India. 

My goal: have a smile like this guy in the very near future...